Bucks
‘Bernie’ Mellon (canine) Crushes Bill Eastburn’s (human) Car
Dear Friends,
Good morning. “Does anyone know a big dog driving a little blue car?” an excited woman shouted in the Bucks County Bar Association headquarters in Doylestown. When the lawyers and staffers poured out of the building to discover the cause of the excitement, they found a 150-pound Bernese Mountain dog at the wheel of a BMW Z3 blue convertible.
Its top was down and the “Beemer” was resting against a new Audi…actually it sounds like the Audi was bent in half. The dog was smiling, obviously pleased with himself.
At least, that’s what our
A few months ago, I wrote about “Meredith” and “Eastburn.” “Eastburn” was a wonderful and amusing dog. He had the wavy black coat of a black Lab but the square jaw and red chin whiskers of an Airedale.
Anyway, Bill sent me a series of emails and photos of the dog, which belongs to Tom Mellon and his wife, Sara Webster, both Doylestown lawyers. Bill identified the dog’s name in this letter to me: “Charlie, Bernie Mellon, son of Tom Mellon and Sara Webster, was driving their car and ran into my car,” Bill began. “I enclose emails regarding this incident that might be some additional material you can use.”
Tom Mellon and Sara Webster provided the rest of this hilarious story.
“Tom,” Sara informed her husband, “Bernie was in a car accident.”
Tom worried that Bernie was either hit by a car or had run into a car.
“No,” Sara continued, “Bernie was THE car accident.”
She told me that when she heard that a big dog had caused an accident in the bar association’s parking lot; she knew the culprit was Bernie.
“Bernie’s well trained,” Tom Mellon began. “When Bernie’s commanded to stay, he won’t leave his place.”
The parking lot is on a hill and the Beemer rolled into Bill Eastburn’s Audi, crushing the front and rear doors on the driver’s side. There was enough damage to the Audi that Connie had to get into the passenger side and crawl over the console into the driver’s seat. How did this happen?
“There are several possibilities,” Tom explained. “Either Bernie’s big butt moved the gear shift into neutral or he unset the emergency brake.
“Bill’s car looked like it was bent in half,” Tom exaggerated. “But Bernie won’t be driving anymore.”
“It was a beautiful October day,” Sara told me. “I left Bernie for no more than 10 minutes. There wasn’t a scratch on my car but there was plenty of damage to Bill’s.”
How much damage? Maybe $10,000!! She described the look on her dog’s face.
“Bernie looked so sheepish,” she said. “I’m not leaving the car on a hill with Bernie behind the wheel anymore.”
Sara’s unsure about how long Bernie’s driver’s license will remain suspended.
And speaking about Bill Eastburn, Mighty Betsy and I attended the Distinguished Citizens Awards for 2007 at the Mercer Museum a few weeks ago. Bill was one of the three honorees. It was good to see Connie and him. Bill’s acceptance speech was short and sweet.
“Connie and I have a message,” he began. “Put it back…as opposed to taking. You’ll get so much more in life by giving.” And with his usual aplomb, Bill ended his two-minute thank you speech with, “I’m going to shock you because I’m sitting down!”
But I stray.
Let me end this column with one last thought about Bernie Mellon. The Eastburns daughter, Page, is a talented artist. Maybe she’ll do a cartoon of Bernie at the wheel for the Herald some day. I hope so. Stay tuned.
Sincerely,
Charles Meredith